I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
