He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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