Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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