there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
