I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
