Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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