Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
