I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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