I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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