What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
