That's intense
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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