So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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