You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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