i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
