i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
