I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
