who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
