and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
