carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
