In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
