i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
