Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
