I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
