And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
