Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize