There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
