I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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