Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize