apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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