apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize