where am i from again
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
