I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
