so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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