Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
