im six kinds of drunk right now
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize