Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so explain again why im purple
no
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
