im drinking this country out of the recession.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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