Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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