yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
