it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
