let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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