i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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