k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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