he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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