We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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