i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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