I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
