I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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