my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
pray to the hookup gods
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
