before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
