the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
