Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
