nut hugger
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We need a shit load of segways right now
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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