i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
