I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
