i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
