She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Two words: blizzard sex
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
