apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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