I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Someone signed my nipple.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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