I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She even gives head with a lisp.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize