i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
