I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Can I color on your dick again?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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