I love black thongs
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize
