its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I will pee on everything he values.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
