Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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