I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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