Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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